First, a little history.
My dad (age 54 when I was born) put himself through college during the Great Depression. Yes, THE Great Depression. He was tight with money, except maybe when it came to spending it on himself.
When I was a little girl we belonged to he country club. At one point we lived in a really exclusive area of San Diego and had a live in maid. My dad drove very nice cars and played a lot of golf. He eventually ended up losing a lot of money by hanging on to some stock too long. I didn't really understand what was going on at the time, but I remember him getting upset when he read the stock reports in the morning paper.
Then, when I moved in with my sister when I was ten and my sister was nineteen (and her husband twenty-one), I quickly moved down the economic ladder. Mike was in the Navy, and was kicked out of the ROTC-type program he was in when he let his grades slip while my sister nearly died of Cancer. The Navy had asked him which one was more important, the Navy or his family, and in their eyes he had given the "wrong" answer. When I was a teenager it seemed to me that we had NO money. I remember being so poor that we didn't have the money to take the city bus without looking in the couch. I typically had two pairs of pants at a time, and two pairs of shoes. I remember my junior and senior year having these hideous green pants that I hated and a pair of jeans. I sewed many of my clothes from .99 a yard fabric.
When I went off to BYU I was determined to pay my way through school without debt. I did it. I never had a car, rarely ate out, and spent my late nights (Sun-Thurs) working as a custodian from 10:00pm to 2:00am. One time I lived for two weeks on a box of Malt-o-Meal and a bag of apples. In the summers I worked at least full time.
When Spence and I got married we paid for most of the wedding ourselves. I think our budget was $500. I sewed dresses for the sisters and maid of honor, and Aloha shirts for the brothers out of more of that .99/yard fabric. But it worked. I was married to the right person, in the right place, and that was what mattered. We were happy.
Since we've been married I've assumed the role of the tight-wad most times, while my husband is a bit freer with the money. Not irresponsible, just different. He grew up in a different family than I did when it came to money, so his attitudes are a bit different. That's the way it goes when you are married. You work it out (or you don't, and have big issues).
Here are some things I've learned about money over the years:
*Money doesn't buy happiness. Significant research backs me up. People are more stressed, and therefore less happy, when their income falls below a certain level (recently determined to be $75K- see Time Magazine). Above that, however, money doesn't make you happier. My richest time, as a kid, was also my most miserable time.
*Tough times can actually be some of the happiest, when you are going through them together. I remember a Christmas when my husband was out of work and our budget was really limited. We talked to the kids about it and they were awesome. It was a great Christmas. We made things for each other and it was fun keeping them a secret. Don't keep your struggles from your kids. They will generally step up if they know whats going on.
*Be careful with credit. Do you really NEED that new car? We've chosen to drive older cars and its made us more able to spend our money on things that we will remember like trips with the family.
*Spend your money making memories. This past summer we took a three-week, cross country trip in our van with the eight of us. It was awesome (believe it or not) even though we did it on a budget. I know we'll all be talking about it for the rest of forever. "Remember that time..."
And the next time you feel poor, watch this, and count your blessings:
For more information see The 2010 Miniature Earth Project
Oh man... Shoulda been in your lesson today!! :)
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