Lucas-isms- Fascinating Behaviors of my Awesome Autistic Son

Every person on the Autism Spectrum is different.  This post celebrates the unique differences of my 10 year old son Lucas.  He is one of the reasons my life never has a dull moment.

Sayings:

"Mom, you're like a humpback whale"- this one is a compliment.  Humpback whales are very cool.  Whales of any kind are cool, but humpbacks are best.  As with all of these things, don't ask me why.  I have no idea.

"I HOPE....."  I hope school is tomorrow.  I hope I'na peanie butter sandwich.  Not I think, I hope.

"Butt-crack".  His current insult of choice.  Everyone is a butt-crack at one time or another. Especially his brothers.  They are "butt cracks" a LOT.  

"Is it three o'clock?" This question is asked MANY times a day when he is home.  We put up sticky notes by the clock to remind him when it is three o'clock.  Because 3:00, you see, is when he gets to use the iPad to watch whale videos.

"Mom, how you spell Aquarium (or a type of whale, or anything to do with the ocean)?" so he can look it up on the internet.

"I'na go aquarium.  Can we go aquarium?". Lucas would go every day if I would let him.  He likes to touch the sharks and rays in the petting tank. He is in heaven doing that.

"Bless we have a wonderful weekend" in EVERY prayer.

"I'na pancakes with sugar".  "I'na rice with butter"- his two favorite things to eat since forever..

"Mom, you forgota...  " whenever I've taken too long to do what he wants me to do..

"I can't take this any more!!" (wonder where he got that one- cough, cough).

Trouble, Us?  Never.  Having fun camping.

Obsessions:  

• The movie Polar Express (until about age five) .  When Luke first learned to talk at all, in fact probably until he was about four, "Polo Epess"  (Polar Express) was his answer to any question asked him by a stranger.  "What's your name?"  "Polo Epess".  "How old are you?"  "Polo Epess". The movie was his obsession at the time. 
• Thomas the Tank Engine 
• NIght at the Museum 
• Other movies to a lesser extent- Transformers (which we didn't let him watch, but he loved anyway), Madagascar, Ice Age. He liked the exciting parts.
• Whales (and to a lesser extent sharks)- this one has been going for the longest time of any obsession.  Lucas can recite the Disney movie Oceans (or at least the parts that have anything to do with whales).  He can identify whale types and tell you random facts about many types of whales.  When he wants to make conversation, he will ask you questions about whales or sharks.  "Mom, whale sharks have gills?"  He, of course, already knows the answers to these questions.  

Lucas and one of his favorites

 
Stimming objects:

"Stimming" for the non-autism savvy, is self-soothing repetitive behavior.  Self- stimulating behavior (no, not that kind, at least not at this point.  Oh dear.  I don't want to think about that...)  Lucas' particular brand of stimming involves flipping things around in his hands, always in pairs.  

• Fingers, always available  
• Polar Express tickets.  During his Polar Express obsession, we printed multiple "tickets" per day on the computer.  He always needed two at a time. 
• Bandaids.  He used to randomly tell people "I like Bandaids, not stickers". Every time we went to Target we had to buy bandaids. 
• Movie/DVD cases.  I had to take all of our movies out of their cases and hide the cases or he would steal them and/or take them outside and lose them.  
• Fruit snacks boxes- he used to love fruit snacks so much that he would ask for them for Christmas.  He always wanted fruit snacks for movies that didn't have them, like Night at the Museum. 
• Receipts, long, undamaged, unfolded and bent are best, preferably from Costco (could it be because those are the longest receipts we have? :) 
• Socks, this is the latest stimmer obsession.  He will take his socks off if no other stimmers are available and flip them around.  Why socks?  I have NO IDEA.

One of Luke's favorite Christmas gifts- a documentary

I love my Lucas.  He is a wonderful boy.  A big-time challenge?  Yes.  Do I get sad sometimes that he's not doing "normal" ten year old boy things? Yes. Very.  But he's still a joy.  

Don't believe me?  Watch this video, made by my son Garrett for the end of school a couple of years ago. 

What's your favorite thing about Lucas?  Have any questions about Autism or life with an Autistic child?  I'd love to hear from you.  Leave me a comment below.

The Road to the MTC

I love this picture- wish Spence and Erin were in it, too.

Now, here we are, October, 2011.  My baby, the Gare-bear, is in the Missionary Training Center (MTC) where he will stay until he heads to Buenos Aires, Argentina, in December.  How did this happen?

When Garrett was a little boy he sang “I Hope they Call Me on a Mission” with the best of them.  We always assumed that he would go.  We were active members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, of course he would go.  It was an easy decision, a no-brainer. 

Then, suddenly, it was time to actually commit to going, to turn in the papers, to make the decision official.  And it wasn’t so easy.  Garrett wanted to know for himself that it was the right thing to do .  So he thought about it a lot, prayed about it a lot.  Waited a bit.  Did it again. 

We talked about it.  A lot.  With Garrett, I’ve learned that there is a line.  You push too hard, he pushes back.  It needs to be his decision.  Finally we all said, you know, maybe you just need to jump in, submit the papers, then see how you feel.  He decided to do it.  On his own timeline.  Because he was ready.

Once he did he felt good.  Right.  Scared a bit, too.  Sad about leaving us, and his girlfriend.  Nervous.  He got his call May 4, 2011.  He was going to Buenos Aires, Argentina.  He was thrilled.  It was EXACTLY where he wanted to go.  He felt sure that he had made the right decision. 

Time passed. He wasn’t leaving until October 19th.  Who had ever heard of a wait that long?  He turned in his papers at the end of March, and had expected to leave in weeks, a few months at the most.  We had heard of others who were leaving that fast.  But not Garrett.  So, he kept working, playing, hanging out with friends.  Getting closer and closer to his girlfriend.  He quit his restaurant job towards the end because he couldn’t stand it any more.  I was worried that he would sleep his life away and play too many hours of video games.  He did, for a while, then he decided that was stupid, and he started working out, doing things with me, playing with his brothers, bringing his friends around our house even more.  This time turned out to be a gift.  A gift to me.

The big day of Garrett's leap into a new part of life was approaching.  We planned his farewell- a celebration of Garrett and his desire to serve others and the Lord.  It was a wonderful event, a wonderful weekend (see previous post).  

The days ticked by.  We made lists of things he still needed to buy, needed to do.  We checked things off.  Bags were packed. It was time.


I was a little (well, more than a little) worried about Garrett going.  Was he going to be okay?  How would he handle the separation from his girlfriend?  Would she be okay?  How would he handle all of the rules?  Would they make him want to rebel?

Ah, parenting older children.  Full of lessons for the parents.  You just can't control, or fix, everything for your kids.  As much as you would give your life to do it.

His setting apart as a missionary was beautiful, amazing.  The blessing he was given was perfect, just what he needed.  Just what I needed. 

Garrett with his "last meal",
fittingly a Caesar Salad

The big day came.  We drove him to Provo.  Went to lunch.  He clowned around with his brothers, pulled faces for the camera.  We drove to the MTC.  He smilingly said he felt like he was going to throw up.  Said that maybe he needed another month.  Decided it wouldn’t make a difference, he was as ready as he could be.  Pulled up to our assigned spot, number 25.  A couple of elders helped him take out his luggage from the van.  They told me that Garrett was going to be okay, that this was a good place, that he was going to be well taken care of.  His friend (brother for the day) took a video of us saying goodbye.  We took a few pictures.  The whole thing took maybe three minutes.

We drove away, bawling.  Breathe, Janet.  I’ve said that a lot these past days.  The first few days after we left him at the MTC I felt weird- sad in spurts, anxious, emotionally worn out.  I'm doing better every day- less anxious.  More peaceful.  I've sent letters and a package- just some treats and little holiday things and such.  I want him to know that we love him, that we support him, that he is going to be okay.  More than okay.  He is, and is going to be, wonderful.

And so are we.